Everyone I have ever talked to has a funny story about something their mom, dad, grandmother, grandfather, or whomever has said to them. Here are two of mine.

My mother and I were talking about some things that were happening in mine and my siblings lives and Mom said, "You know there is one thing that all of you kids take for granted. Outside of a few mental issues, you're all pretty healthy." I couldn't reply, I was laughing too hard!

Another time Mom and I were talking about my best friend. I told her that sometimes when I'm with my BF I feel completely ditsy. It's not anything she does or says, but I just seem to act uber blond when I'm around her. Mom said, "Well, think about her mother. She is brilliant (she was valedictorian of her class) she is smart, she always has a quick, witty reply and she has a bold personality that just lights up a room. Now look at your mother. Sorry honey, you just didn't have much to work with."

Tell me some of your great Mom Quotes!

LOL Your mom is awesome! Too funny! I'll have to think about it for a while and see what I can come up with. My mom is just always goofy so things don't really stand out as goofy when she's always that way.

A while back I was cleaning my room I found this broomstick from an old Halloween costume so I went to mum 'where can I put this?' and she went 'chuck it out the window, it might fly!'

And quite a few years back we were travelling to go visit my brother who lives in Brighton. And we ended up going up there the same time they had some sort of motorbike event going on. And we were stuck in traffic with this bike infront of us and there was a woman on the bike who was quite large and my mum yelled out 'OH MY GOD IS THAT THE PANNIER'S OR HER BACKSIDE' (she didn't say backside though) and then she realised the window was open. Awkward.

Oh and once she did something that at the time was quite embarrasing but in hindsight was awesome. In my first year of college I was being bothered by a girl on the course above mine because she was convinced I had a crush on someone who'd recentley transferred into the course. I'd told her about it and not much was being done. There was a parent's evening and when she came in quite a few of my classmates were sitting in the 'waiting area' in the lobby and that girl was there. My mum noticed she was about to say something so she very simply and loudly pointed her out and went 'Is that the one you're talking about!' and well that girl never bothered me again

My mum is always coming out with a new one. Some aren't really that child friendly, so I will keep them pg13.

We were going through mcdonalds drive through one day, and the chick at the window asked her to move on, she looked her in the face and said "no, they always **** you through the drive through" the chick was stunned, and I wished my seat would have swallowed me whole, but it was really funny and true.

I brought my brother a prank gift one Christmas, it was a rehash of mr potato head, the potato was a male appendage instead, and was named after said appendage. Anyhow, when he unwrapped it, he said "I can't put that in my room, someone might see it" she said "put his hat on, they won't know the difference".

And a recent one. For new years eve, we had a BBQ at our place and invited all my sister in laws family along. Well her mother (who is lonely, boring and single) said to my mum "thanks for having me, think I'll get going now" mum replied "have you got a hot date or something?" I nearly spat coke hearing that one.

I have heaps more, but I shall leave it at that for the moment

[slight language edit - kaoskat]

Haha too funny guys

My Mum comes out with some corkers at times, but the funniest thing she does is call stuff by the wrong names all the time, like the name of a TV show, she'll come out with something completely random instead of the actual name. It's hard to type it so it'll sound funny to anyone else, but it cracks me and my family up!

When she's trying to describe stuff that she can't remember the name of she's amusing too. There's a song with a line in it "got to scrap that **** right off your shoes" and she was trying to tell me she liked it so she said "you know, that 'off your shoes' song..." after I picked myself up off the floor from laughing I said "you mean Sweet Virginia, mum?" yeah you probably had to be there, but it was funny

Now whenever she was one of those moments we just say to her "off your shoes?" and we all laugh

My Mum's awesome

[slight language edit - kaoskat]

These stories are great! It's nice to know I'm not the only one!

I've got another one. I am the youngest of five kids and I asked Mom one day, "Not that I'm complaining, but didn't you know what birth control was?" She said, "What's more fun? Jumping into a mud puddle barefoot or with boots on?"

clones_rebellion wrote:

"What's more fun? Jumping into a mud puddle barefoot or with boots on?"

Just recently, my family went out to eat at a Mexican restaurant to celebrate my Granny's birthday. It was raining pretty hard that night, and when we were leaving, my mom went to remind us about our umbrella. Except, when we were heading out, she yelled "don't forget your hamburgers!"

I laughed for five minutes solid. Too many margaritas, Mom?

My mother once called an oscillating table fan an ovulating table fan!

Another funny story, a couple of years ago, my stepfather went fishing with a friend of his and he caught stripers. My mom posted on Facebook about how she was having strippers for dinner. And then my aunt and my grandmother started commenting on my mom's status, and none of them realized my mom's typo. It was so funny and surreal to watch them talking about how good strippers are.

I did finally tell my mom. Luckily everyone else thought it was as funny as I did.

I told my mum that I had seen the second 'new' Sherlock Holmes film, and she goes "So, was it any good? Which one was it?" so I replied "It's a new series entirely, mum, Sherlock's a young man, not like the old series. I have actually read the old series, by the way." and my mum goes (in full-fledged meme accent) "*****, please.." and pulls out the full collection XD

[slight language edit - kaoskat]

One day, my mum was 'admiring' a rugby player on the tv. I was all; 'yeah, but look at his face!' And she replies with:
'You don't look at the mantle when you're stoking the fire'

and to this day everyone is surprised that this pearl of wisdom was from my mother. But there again, most of them haven't seen her drunk

Fezzy wrote:

'You don't look at the mantle when you're stoking the fire'

OMG!

clones_rebellion wrote:

Fezzy wrote: 'You don't look at the mantle when you're stoking the fire' OMG!

^ Same here

The other day I going up to see my mom and I called her to let her know I was almost to her place. She told me, "Be careful, it's the holidays, and there's drunk drivers on the road." Keep in mind, this was at 9:30 in the morning.

And a couple of months ago I was visiting her and was having a bit of car trouble. She had me stop at this car repair shop and we went in, and she asked the mechanic, "Do you fix cars?" I didn't say it but I was like, "Umm, Mom, it's a car repair, I'm sure they fix cars."

Well, in the middle of a business meeting my mother exclaimed "Holy crackwhore Batman!" in response to how much they made that year. |D