Not my mom, but a while ago I was watching Seinfeld with my grandma and she said "I really like this show. I wonder when they're going to make new episodes?"

One of my favorite quotes from my mom was back when I was in junior high. She was dropping me off for a dance, when one of my classmates darted out in front of her car on his roller blades. She had to slam on the brakes hard.

He shouted at her "F--- YOU!!"

Then my mom rolled down the window and shouted right back,

"You don't have the EQUIPMENT TO!!!"

At the time I was soooo mortified. Then a few years later, when I was in high school, my family and I were having dinner at a local Chinese restaurant. This same classmate was there with his family. As he walked by, he said to me, "You know, I still remember what your mom said to me at that dance in junior high."

At least my mom is memorable, LOL!

ashes wrote:

"You don't have the EQUIPMENT TO!!!"

epic!!!

Ashes, that's brilliant Bahaha

I can't remember the last time I enjoyed reading a thread so much. lol xD

This wasn't my mom and I wasn't there when it happened but I thought this was funny. :3

My SO's dad is a pastor and he was doing a wedding one time where the couples poured sand after giving their vows. The groom's sand ran out before the bride's and his dad went, "Now lets hope that doesn't happen tonight." His dad is a hoot x'D

These are great! Keep them coming!

Our school buses went on strike when I was in high school, and my mom had to drive me to school for a few weeks before she went to work. My mom is a math teacher, and she's lots of fun, but pretty straight edge as well.

On the first day, she was driving me to school, and she turned to me and said "Oh my God, you wouldn't BELIEVE what I did yesterday. It was the scariest thing!" and she looked dead serious.. "I drove all the way to school on 'E'!"


I was SHOCKED, my jaw dropped, and I exclaimed "Where did you get 'E'?!"

She had this look of confusion on her face, and then it dawned on her. "No, no. I drove to school on empty!" and she points to the fuel gauge on the car. I went from almost having a heart attack, to laughing SO hard.

Can I share one from my grandma too?
When her first great grandchild was born, I asked her what it felt like to be a great-grandma, and she replied "Oh Erica, I've ALWAYS been a great grandma!"

Obscuria wrote:

I'm emo..and proud of it, make no mistake, but once whilst out with my Mom this older woman came over and commented on my entire look, saying it was unique and really awesome and that she liked peopel who dressed different, she then turned to my Mom and said, "So what are they callihng this kind of a look now a days?" and my Mom said "Oh, she's EMU...." EMU.....so apparently I'm a gigantic, angry bird with orange eyes that hisses and spits...lol!

Bwaahahahaahah XD

Mum : HEE HEE HI I'M CALLING YOU
Me : mum what are you
Mum : I'M CALLING YOU BECAUSE I CAN
Me : mum are you drunk
Mum : NOPE I'M AS SOBER AS TWO PIGS
Mum : TIED TOGETHER
Mum : BY THE TAILS

keep in mind this was a skype call.
from a room.
directly across the landing.

yeah.

Awesome, all of these. ;]

We have several running jokes with my mom. She can be ditsy, she is EXTREMELY gullible and sometimes has a few too many drinks. ;]

It's been probably.. 9 years or so, and we still remind her of the night she threatened to take my brother to the "Drifway" (driveway) and "open a bag of whoop ass" on him (no, not a can, a bag). ;] We Love her.

(Edit didn't seem to work, sorry to double post)

I had to include this too about my Papa (grandpa).

He joined partypoker (website) a couple years ago. Mom and I came to help him set it up, pick a user name, etc. First he wanted to be PoleHiker.. My mom and I looked at eachother and tried to explain that might not be such a good idea. He did NOT get it at all. Then he said "Well fine! Make it SeaMen41 instead!" We gave up at that point and just gave into the laughter. He eventually let us use his first name instead. ;]

Papa used to be a city electrician (Hence pole hiker) and he fishes (Hence sea man). XD

My mother frequently threatens to maim and/or kill my stepfather on a nightly basis, most often during dinner. My husband actually set up a Twitter account to post the strange things she's been known to yell.

She looked at the proofs from my high school senior pictures and exclaimed "These are beautiful! Gorgeous! These aren't you!"

And we still aren't letting her forget the time she looked at one the (many, many) penguins in her collection and said something like "Doesn't that penguin look like a negroid?" We're not sure where *that* came from.

coinoperatedgirl wrote:

She looked at the proofs from my high school senior pictures and exclaimed "These are beautiful! Gorgeous! These aren't you!"

So, what are you trying to say MOM?!

I have to share one from my grandmother. Mommom is very straight laced and was happily married to my granddad, Bob, for 60 years. We were talking about her son, my uncle, who is definitely the black sheep of the family. In pure exasperation, I asked her, "Where did he come from?!" she replied, "Oh, I assure you, he *IS* Bob's son." I was slack jawed!

starrypawz wrote:

Obscuria wrote: I'm emo..and proud of it, make no mistake, but once whilst out with my Mom this older woman came over and commented on my entire look, saying it was unique and really awesome and that she liked peopel who dressed different, she then turned to my Mom and said, "So what are they callihng this kind of a look now a days?" and my Mom said "Oh, she's EMU...." EMU.....so apparently I'm a gigantic, angry bird with orange eyes that hisses and spits...lol! Bwaahahahaahah XD

Eactly Starry, that's pretty much what I did, I exploded laughing in the middle of the store, I laughed so hard I was crying.


These are so funny, some of them so hysterical I've been laughing to the point of tears again.