SunSnail wrote:

Do any of the mods reading this thread know whether it's acceptable to leave Arena feedback about a potential , uncompleted sale that has to be canceled for reasons like this? lol Just last night, I actually pm'd a mod here and one on the TP with a quite lengthy and in-depth email with my concerns about the etiquette and ethics of both buyers and sellers, and questions as to whether they think anything might be done to reduce the resulting problems.

The transaction IS completed. She failed to send the ponies, ceased all communications with me, and I am asking for my money back.

As far as proper buying and selling etiquette goes, I think it's pretty self-explanatory. Keep whoever you're dealing with informed. Check your arena inbox and e-mail linked to your Paypal account every day, or every other day at least, for new messages when you're buying/selling. If you're buying/selling online and something in RL comes up, let people you're dealing with know! Most people, especially here on the Arena, are very understanding as long as you treat them well and keep them up-to-date on your progress.

Quote::

I know legitimate real-life issues do happen, sometimes, and that's fine. But it's soooo many people, and I think many just don't take the sale seriously or consider that I've had an item on hold that another buyer may have purchased.

I bought 3 ponies from her after PMing her and asking if they were available. She replied and said yes, they all were. Then I messaged her back that I would like to buy them and requested a total. She replied with her Paypal address and the total. I sent her the payment. There was no misunderstanding about whether the items were being held for anyone else.

Her excuses of not being able to make it to the post office during the week don't make any sense, as 3 Saturdays have passed since my payment. In manateejaq's case, where she purchased pamphlets, something that the seller could just drop off in her mailbox, makes even less sense. Not being able to make it to her post office OR her mailbox yet insisting on selling things online anyway is not right, even if her excuses are legitimate, which I highly doubt by this point.

I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect some negative feedback if you cease communicating with your buyer altogether, and haven't managed to send out the purchased items within 23 days. I'm not about to wait around until it's too late to file a claim with Paypal. Should Arena members wait patiently and expect the seller to be honest, while their time to file a claim and regain their money runs out, and the seller isn't communicating with them at all anymore? She hasn't even responded to my Paypal claim.

I have been a member of the arena since January 2010 and I've never had reason to leave a negative feedback with anyone here before, despite dealing with lots of different buyers and sellers who are dealing with many different RL situations. I am an understanding person, but not to the point where who I'm dealing with gets away with screwing me. This is the worst I've been treated by anyone here.

SunSnail wrote:

Hmm, I thought feedback could only be left about completed transactions. There are also quite a high number of buyers, lately, who will agree to a sale, commit to pay by a specific date, and then don't reply when I email a couple days after that date to ask if they still want the item or not. Or they'll reply even a number of weeks later, just saying something came up and they're sorry for not letting me know sooner. And, as pointed out in this thead, similar issues happen to people who are buying.

What? I think you might be confused.

SunSnail wrote:

Do any of the mods reading this thread know whether it's acceptable to leave Arena feedback about a potential , uncompleted sale that has to be canceled for reasons like this?..... Hmm, I thought feedback could only be left about completed transactions. …I'm very understanding about the need for more time to pay or canceling and maybe selling to them another time, but when so many people just don't take into account the seller's position, it makes me question making offers to new members, who I've always loved to sell to and help get their collection started, because a scenario like the one I described is so much more common.

I don’t have much experience BSTing in other collecting communities besides MLP, but from my experience, once a price has been agreed upon and payment info has been exchanged (in “modern” times, a Paypal address), the transaction is now “pending in progress”. If a member does not pay within 48 hours without explanation/communication, you are more than welcome to leave honest feedback.

If you haven’t agreed on pricing or exchanged personal information, then the transaction has not begun, and one can consider these “inquiries”. Only unless the inquiry continues for several days to a week would it be appropriate to label them as a “timewaster”. Part of being a seller is responding to buyer inquiries, and while it would be nice if everyone who asked questions was going to buy something, it’s unrealistic. For example, not everyone who walks into a grocery store and asks where the coconuts are is going to buy something from the produce department.

Not everyone has the same definition of “considerate”, either. While some people believe that you should send a PM if you have changed your mind or for every little detail, many members also feel that not moving forward with communications indicates their intent – or their lack of intent as it were.

I hope my explanation made sense… I am not very good at clarifying myself sometimes. If you ever are having a difficult time with a specific person, the mods are very good at sorting out these matters, and if you feel the issue is serious enough, you can always start a thread here in Trader Support. That’s why we’re all here to help!

lovesbabysquirmy wrote:

SunSnail wrote: Do any of the mods reading this thread know whether it's acceptable to leave Arena feedback about a potential , uncompleted sale that has to be canceled for reasons like this?..... Hmm, I thought feedback could only be left about completed transactions. …I'm very understanding about the need for more time to pay or canceling and maybe selling to them another time, but when so many people just don't take into account the seller's position, it makes me question making offers to new members, who I've always loved to sell to and help get their collection started, because a scenario like the one I described is so much more common. I don’t have much experience BSTing in other collecting communities besides MLP, but from my experience, once a price has been agreed upon and payment info has been exchanged (in “modern” times, a Paypal address), the transaction is now “pending in progress”. If a member does not pay within 48 hours without explanation/communication, you are more than welcome to leave honest feedback. If you haven’t agreed on pricing or exchanged personal information, then the transaction has not begun, and one can consider these “inquiries”. Only unless the inquiry continues for several days to a week would it be appropriate to label them as a “timewaster”. Part of being a seller is responding to buyer inquiries, and while it would be nice if everyone who asked questions was going to buy something, it’s unrealistic. For example, not everyone who walks into a grocery store and asks where the coconuts are is going to buy something from the produce department. Not everyone has the same definition of “considerate”, either. While some people believe that you should send a PM if you have changed your mind or for every little detail, many members also feel that not moving forward with communications indicates their intent – or their lack of intent as it were. I hope my explanation made sense… I am not very good at clarifying myself sometimes. If you ever are having a difficult time with a specific person, the mods are very good at sorting out these matters, and if you feel the issue is serious enough, you can always start a thread here in Trader Support. That’s why we’re all here to help!

I'm a little confused on what sunsail meant by her post. It seemed to imply she was against pending transactions while at the same time not being for feedback when no goods are sent? I'm not sure what her point was exactly.

But you made some good points here. I certainly don't expect every person that asks a question to buy something. But like you said, if someone says "Yes I will take them for x amount of money" then the item is supposed to be sold.

Of course, having paid for something then the item is definitely sold. No questions asked and feedback can be left whether it's on here or Ebay or whatever. Even if you never get your item.

daughterofaries28 finally responded to my filing a claim against her via Paypal! Her response is totally irrelevant and solves nothing, however. Here it goes:

From Buyer - (Tropical_Sunset)

Dear Ms. (daughterofaries28)

I sent you $30.00 for three My Little Pony toys on September 28th, 2011. The toys I paid for were (blahblahblah).

I have not received them and you have ceased communications with me. Because of that, I can only assume that your intentions are dishonest and that I will never see what I paid for.

Please refund the $30.00 that I paid you. I'm not interested in the ponies or doing further business with you.

Sincerely,

(Tropical_Sunset)


From Seller - (daughterofaries28)

I am very sorry and I did not mean to come across as dishonest. I am having a very hard time getting items to the post. I am sorry again.

And I just responded with:

From Buyer - (Tropical_Sunset)

Ms. (daughterofaries28),

Please do not worry about going to the post office. All I want now is my money back. It has been over a month since I paid you.

Please return my money.

Sincerely,
(Tropical_Sunset)

Really?? Why go through the trouble of replying if you're not going to offer a solution at all? I'm simply asking for my money back and she refuses to acknowledge that in her response!

What could she be thinking? Is she trying to drag things out until the claim expires or something?

*Bangs head against desk*

Tropical Sunset - did you open the dispute AND escalate to a claim? The claim should be reviewed by Paypal and you should get your money back in the end whether or not the seller sends it to you.

The seller sent me a refund - but it is just pending until tomorrow. So things are about wrapped up for me.

manateejaq wrote:

Tropical Sunset - did you open the dispute AND escalate to a claim? The claim should be reviewed by Paypal and you should get your money back in the end whether or not the seller sends it to you. The seller sent me a refund - but it is just pending until tomorrow. So things are about wrapped up for me.

I wasn't sure if I should escalate it now or not. The dispute expires November 8th. If I escalated it now, would that make Paypal think I was impatient or would it be the right thing to do? I'm pretty lost with all of this.

Just escalate it. Clearly your seller isn't working with you. They should have just sent the refund after the first message. Escalate to a claim and let paypal deal with it.

I just escalated it to a claim. I hope I get my money back. What a dishonest waste if time daughterofaries28 has been.

Tropical_Sunset wrote:

I just escalated it to a claim. I hope I get my money back. What a dishonest waste if time daughterofaries28 has been.

Yeah, there is really nothing she can do now to try and keep the money. I mean, even if she sent it, it hasn't been confirmed as delivered so I think that means Paypal will still refund your money.

I really wonder what's wrong with this lady. Is she scamming?