Finally someone did 789.. I was about to wonder. Lame humor is great. ;]

What do you call a blond underwater?
Air bubble.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
It was Dead. (my grandma's fav)

Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
If it had four, it'd be a chicken sedan.

A blonde, a brunette and a red head were set to be executed by firing squad. First was the brunette. As she stood in the firing range, she pointed over their heads and said "TORNADO!!!" And when the squad turned around, she got away. Next was the red head. Taking a leaf out of the brunette's plan, she shouted "HURRICANE!" and got away. The blonde was last. She pointed behind the firing squad and yelled "FIRE!!!"

Everyone has two moms: One loves you, the other has Mercury in its blood, never needs its temp taken and has a more fragile body.

Politicians and diapers need to be changed for the same reason.

that is HILARIOUS Kiwi! Love it! Reminds me of another one.

Politics - definition
poly=many, tics=bloodsucking creatures.

Not that I hate our polititions, but I love jokes about them.

Q: What kind of animal needs oiling?

A: Mice because they squeak!

StarDapple wrote:

A blonde, a brunette and a red head were set to be executed by firing squad. First was the brunette. As she stood in the firing range, she pointed over their heads and said "TORNADO!!!" And when the squad turned around, she got away. Next was the red head. Taking a leaf out of the brunette's plan, she shouted "HURRICANE!" and got away. The blonde was last. She pointed behind the firing squad and yelled "FIRE!!!"

I've got one like that my friend told me.
A blonde, brunette and a redhead escape prision and whilst on the run they hide in a barn. And then they realise someone is looking for them so each one jumps into a sack.
The prison warden comes in and kicks on bag so the brunette goes 'meow' and the warden goes 'it's just a cat, move along' so he kicks another and the red head goes 'woof' and the warden goes 'just a dog' so he kicks the third sack and the blonde yells out...
POTATOES!

And I must tell the parrot joke.
A very posh and well bred lady goes into a petshop and sees a gorgeous parrot on sale so she buys him and takes him home. She then to her disgust found out the parrot swears as he belonged to a salior. She tried everything she knew to try and stop the swearing but to no avail so one day she has enough and shoves the parrot in the freezer shouting 'this will stop your foul language'
After a while she pulls the parrot out of the freezer and he seems to have suffered little damage and he asks her very politely
'Excuse me madam, what did the chicken do?'

What's brown and sticky? - A Stick

A big hole just appeared on the main road: the police are looking into it.

What do you get from eating too many Christmas decorations?
Tinsel-itis

I've got a sweet tooth, it's the one with the ribbon.

A Blonde a Brunette and a red head visited the magic wishing well. "Whatever you wish for will be waiting for you at the bottom of the slide," said the sign. So the brunette went down the slide shouting "Money!" The Red head shouted "chocolate!" The Blonde hadn't read the sign so when she went down the slide she just went "Weeee!" so that's what she landed in

How do you make a hanky dance? You put a little boogie in it.

Two fish are in a tank. One looks at the other and says "How do you drive this thing?!"

Why did the baker bake so much bread?
He kneaded the dough.

SoSilver's secret in another thread reminded me of this blonde joke:

How do you keep a blonde excited?

I'll tell you tomorrow.

Filthy, that reminds me of another blonde joke... this one was on a shirt that a guy in my school liked to wear.

Shirt front reads:
How do you keep a blonde busy: see back of shirt.

Shirt back reads:
How do you keep a blonde busy: See front of shirt.

Funniest part of the story is that there was a guy in my class that stopped this boy to read the shirt, than (being a big guy... the one in the shirt was not so big) he grabbed the guy and spun him around to see the back... then grabbed him again to see the front... this took awhile, the whole time the guy wearing said shirt was trying SO hard not to laugh (due to the fear of a pounding from said blonde big guy). And yes... the big guy had blonde hair. Funniest thing I've ever seen. He finally figured it out (I'm sure shirt wearing dude was a bit dizzy) and sheepishly shook his head and walked away. SO many of us were trying so hard not to laugh and embarrass him, but it was really funny. He laughed about it later too.

What did the snowman say to the other snowman?
"Hey do you smell carrots?"

Just found this