Ebay is making this very unfair for sellers. Paypal too now. Everything rests in the hands of the buyer - making it a lot easier to scam or be unreasonable -- making the seller virtually helpless. I take as many precautions as possible with ebay and etsy. When possible, I pay the extra 70 cents for delivery confirmation just to save my own butt. I share the tracking number upon request, but I always let it be known that I can see if it comes or not!

I once had a buyer not pay for two weeks! After two weeks and no replies from the buyer, I gave up on getting my money and planned on relisting the item. They they paid! And I didn't have any other new sales on my etsy so I never bothered to check paypal. Another two weeks went by and I log on to etsy to see that my shop was shut down because she filed a complaint on etsy but was only attempting to contact me via the email that's used for my paypal. UGH. I had to refund her money of course and say sorry a zillion times even though my store policy was to pay within 7 days or no item. I had to do it to get my store back. What a hassle!

I'm very strict when I have my business and I say absolutely no refunds- make sure you know what you want! I am here to make money, not give it away when you don't like how something didn't go your way. I am not a pushover when I sell.

I would NOT have even mentioned the refund. It's disappointing, but you have to be hard on people buying.

Be friendly, but don't be their friend. I know you were nervous about your feedback, but unless you stated that it would get to someone on time for Christmas, you could argue that with her. I always have customers repeat what my policy says- it may sound bossy, but I don't like being pushed around.

I hope it goes well for you

Any updates? I'm curious if she got the item "on time"

She emailed me to say that she got the package on Christmas Eve. She thanked me for the offer of a refund. I am glad that this transaction ended happily but I definitely learned my lesson. Thanks so much for the advice and support. I really appreciate it.