I am horrendously bad at making cake from mixes. Yes. You read the right. I can bake cakes from scratch, but every time I use a mix, it collapses in the middle, or overcooks, or undercooks, or something!

My worst cooking disaster has to be the time I thought I would attempt to cook goat. Now, I didn't have internet access as I was dog sitting for my dad, but I thought I should pot roast it since goat can be tough. I dredged it in flour, browned it, and put in some water and veggies (as one does for a pot roast). I checked it occasionally to make sure it was doing okay, and it was fine until near the end, when the "broth" got too thick and burned to the bottom (I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and forgot to check it). The goat itself was still super tough (quite inedible, really), and it took me several days of soaking and scrubbing to get the pot clean...

The first time I made swiss chard for Christmas I didn't rinse it well enough and it was gritty. Gross.

Well it's not me personally... but at least you're not as bad as my housemate. The other week he boiled some rice... but without draining the water out, he then poured a tin of baked beans in... mixed them up, added some mayonaise and ate it straight out of the saucepan. Now that's disgusting.

Ok.. I usually like to try new things, and I hardly have a problem. These stories however, involve interruptions, or other people helping me and what not. I work best alone... NO interruptions, haha.

Once I was making cookies. My mom decided to measure out flour for me after I ran to the other room for something (I already mixed the liquid and sugar ingredients necessary, and had just started on the dry... didn't do them though because I wanted to remember where I was at). Welll, she neglected to tell me what she had mixed in. I asked if she did all the dry, she said yes, so I proceeded from there. They didn't rise. No baking powder. Tasted good otherwise, haha.

When I was pregnant, a similar thing happened. I started making muffins. My daughter (1yr) started crying, my phone rang, and my husband walked in the door all at once when I had started measuring my dry ingredients. I took care of things and got back to it. They finished baking, but didn't rise at all. I looked over the ingredients, and realized I totally skipped the baking powder...

Once in high school, a friend who came over thought we should make cake. Sounded great. When we tasted it though, it had a rather soapy flavour. Turns out, she used a spoon that had dishsoap 'spilled' on it (we were doing dishes at the same time... how she didn't notice the green glob on the spoon, I'm not sure... she says she saw it but after she had placed the spoon in and didn't think it would matter). YUCK, hahaha.

I love these stories!

I just got one of those Magic Bullet blenders for Christmas, so I've been experimenting with making smoothies out of what I can find in the pantry and refrigerator... The banana strawberry smoothie was delicious, the peeled seedless orange smoothie was pretty good as well, The celery smoothie... wasn't such good idea X.x


I still like to tease my mom about the time when I was little that she tried to make a carrot cake from scratch and put whole carrots into the batter and baked it. LOL

Whole carrots?! That is hilarious!

RavenWolf wrote:

I still like to tease my mom about the time when I was little that she tried to make a carrot cake from scratch and put whole carrots into the batter and baked it. LOL

7
XD For ages my older brother didn't believe carrot cake actually had carrot in it. He thought it was called it because the one we used to buy a lot had a little icing carrot on the top.

I am the queen of cooking disasters! I remember making banana pudding in High School home ec. I had to make it from scratch and forgot to put the eggs in, so we had banana pudding soup! Everytime I make mac and cheese I either burn the noodles or they turn out mushy. I once melted a spatula in the bottom of a pan because I forgot to turn the flame off after I got done cooking an egg. I could go on and on. It seems even if I follow a recipe to the letter, I always screw it up!

I melted a microwavable pot.

In the microwave.

I don't have any stories from myself, but my mom has this great one.

Okay, so one day when my mom was younger, she was making cookies. She made ones that turned out great, looked great, and everything.

But when she finally tried one, they tasted horrible!

And guess why?

She used salt instead of sugar!

I nearly burned down the office where I work. Y’know those little cups of Kraft Dinner (Mac N’ Cheese for you Americans) that you add water to and toss in the microwave for 3 minutes? Yah. Apparently I can’t read the *one* instruction that says ADD WATER. So I open it, and put the damn thing in the nuker, and go back to my desk in the next room. 3 minutes later I hear “BEEEEP” and look up to see the main office so filled with black smoke I can’t see the wall. Bolt out to the office to see flames shooting up from the microwave.

Got the fire out, then quickly hit the store for $50 worth of cleaning products thinking “I am SO fired if one of my Board Members shows up right now…” I spent the entire afternoon scrubbing the microwave, walls, cabinets, chairs, etcetc to get rid of the burny-charcoaly-plasticy stench and clearing out smoke. Surprisingly, aesthetically, the microwave *looked* okay, other then a scorch mark on the back (hidden because it was against the wall), and a strange burned KD smell…

Best thing about it though? I was the *only* one in the office that day, and my Board didn’t even KNOW for almost a YEAR that anything had happened. I just quietly kept the microwave unplugged and kept my mouth shut, since it was hardly used. Finally one day a Board Member tried to use it and commented “it’s not working, when did this quit?” ….to which I finally admitted my uh… “accident”. Thankfully they laughed it off and just said to go buy a new one. I didn’t even have to pay for it! XD;

Well my cousin, Sam, who was 18 at the time, came to stay with us and put a can of baked beans in the microwave for about half an hour. Yeah.

But I've blown up eggs before, on a frying pan.